do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
