I have demons in me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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