I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
