I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm passing your future prison.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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