do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We need a shit load of segways right now
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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