okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
