you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
