people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
And then he peed in my hair
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