Do you still have your period?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
