all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
