These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
