Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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