yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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