I looked at my own cervix.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
