i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
