Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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