he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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