you would pick up someone in the library
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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