I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
