guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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