He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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