Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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