If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
