Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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