This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
