I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
