It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
