There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
