We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
