I puked a lego.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
