We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
