Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
