it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
