Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
