every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
