I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
