Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
