I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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