i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk is not a location!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
