Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
