Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
