A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
