yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
