He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
