The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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