i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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