I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
