it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
