I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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