I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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