there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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