Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
