Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
