bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
