I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
