New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
