you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He? As in you personified your dick?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
