so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It was confusing and full of hummus
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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