Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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