By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
