Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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