I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
