For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize