..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize