this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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