The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
