Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
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