I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
